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The Grandmother I Always Wanted, When Strangers Become Friends

On behalf of the Coronado Cultural Arts Commission and the Coronado Public Library, I am pleased to invite authors and writers to participate …

The Grandmother I Always Wanted, When Strangers Become Friends

The Grandmother I Always Wanted, When Strangers Become Friends

As a child I traveled only to Grandparents’ homes or church camp, but I read. Our public library in Tarboro, North Carolina, was a beautiful, large colonial house with big rooms and wide plank floors, worthy of a movie setting. Between almost daily movies and books, I lead a full life, if only in my head. I knew even then that I would travel some day to visit those places that filled my imagination.

Now we do travel. In our travels we have met wonderful strangers who quickly became friends. While house-swapping is certainly not for everyone, we have enjoyed the connection with the various cultures through the homes as well as the connection with the residents.

When house-swapping into the Netherlands over ten years ago, we rode a ferry, disembarked, and saw no definitive direction to pursue. Fortunately, a gentleman walked near us, so we stopped him. He pointed toward a path and instructed us which restaurant to try. After a few minutes of friendly chatter, we invited him to join us, but his wife Mary had already started dinner on their boat. He said maybe they would meet us for coffee afterwards which they did.

Two days later he and Mary were hosting us for a tour of their area and dinner, complete with raw herring as the appetizer. Jon still calls us every few months, a birthday call last week. When Mary published a book of her paintings, they sent us a copy. Jon had translated the Dutch into English on onionskin paper and artfully glued the sheets so they could be lifted to view the original text.

Four years ago when our return from Belgium was delayed because of a retina detachment, we spent three nights with them. On that visit, Mary, whose English is not as fluent as Jon’s, quietly said to me, “I know if we lived nearer, we would be best friends.”

On that same Belgium trip, we stayed with a young family in Rouen, France, near the Normandy battle fields. A hospitality component of our house swapping web site allows us to request a host family for one to two nights. The Carpentiers warmly welcomed us into their home, treating us to gourmet French breakfasts and dinners and accompanying us on excursions to see their area. A typical host provides only a bedroom and breakfast, but they visited and guided us to lovely, historic spots.

Their twelve-year-old daughter, Chloe, needed practice with her English, so her parents felt contact with Americans would help. Fabrice spoke excellent English, and Isabel understood more than she could speak. We had a wonderful forty-eight hours with them, feeling immediate connection in spite of the age difference.

The following January, an email From the Carpentiers asked if we knew a family with a daughter near Chloe’s age that spoke French. She wanted more immersion in English to prepare for the big exam that was coming. Since we did not, we volunteered to host her and take her on our July jaunt to the East Coast where she would have contact with our grandchildren. After knowing us for only two days, they entrusted their daughter to us for six weeks, and after two days, we knew she would fit in perfectly with our granddaughters, one of which, Caroline, is her exact age, even to the month.

Our English immersion started with a week touring San Diego with my two local granddaughters, Sadie and Ainsley. Then the three of us flew to Virginia for four days with my high school friend where Chloe had a day each in Richmond, Williamsburg, and Washington. She was able to experience the second-best July 4th celebration, an event on Gaston Lake hosted by friends, with amazing fireworks and a tribute to a World War II veteran. Plus, she met more of my high school friends who instantly loved her, too.

From there we headed to Holden Beach, North Carolina, and our annual family beach week. Besides our twenty-six under one roof, it happened to be the biennial Topping family reunion Sunday. During the week, Chloe joined in all the activities, and we have a ton of them: water competitions, tie-dye t-shirts, community puzzle, Bingo, Mexican Train, and a Friday night talent show.

The following December, my son took his family to England and France. In Paris, the Carpentiers showed them sights they probably would have missed, then took them home to Rouen for a few nights. Granddaughter Abby is only nine months younger than Chloe. When the Carpentiers house-swapped into Orlando the following summer, they spent July 4th weekend with Paul and his family in Jacksonville and were able to meet our other daughter’s family. We were, also, in town, so all went to St. Augustine for the fireworks

The next May, Chloe arrived in El Cajon to attend the remainder of tenth grade with Sadie as a foreign exchange student, where she instantly made friends. My daughter invited her to stay afterwards to attend church camp and go to Holden Beach again. Recently the youth counselor from camp visited Chloe for a few days while touring France. On a school trip in July to France, Caroline spent a few days with the Carpentiers at the end of the trip.

The Carpentiers had been to New York and visited the East Coast a bit, but in August, 2018, they all made it to California. It was “ole home week.” They appreciated our wonderful town Exchange Tie Dye Shirt , enjoyed our walking tour of the sights, and had a personal tour with Papa on the Midway, even hearing him present his Traps talk, before heading to other sights up the coast.

I am a “people person.” Waiting in lines, I always start a conversation. I have had fun interviewing unfamiliar locals for the newspaper. I relish meeting strangers and exploring their lives. In this age when some people are too apprehensive about opening themselves to uncomfortable situations, they often miss momentous happenings. The Carpentiers have enriched my families’ lives. Chloe signs her emails to me #13 granddaughter. My four grandchildren in her age bracket face time and Instagram each other often.

We have other friends from our travels who warmly reside in our memories. I want my grandchildren to keep the doors open for new experiences, for meeting strangers and allowing personal relationships to evolve. Life becomes so much more interesting when new people invade our privacy. As William Butler Yeats said, “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven‘t yet met.”

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